I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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