All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
