i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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