my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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