And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
