looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
