I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
