you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
