ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
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I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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