My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
