Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
