If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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