This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize