Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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