I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
