Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
