I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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