It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
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I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
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I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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