Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My first STD was from a foam party
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
