I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize