...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
