he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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