Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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