Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
