im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
