He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize