we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
