I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
home. puking in laundry basket.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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