Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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