And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
