I want to make a zoo with you.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
