btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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