Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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