Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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