I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
