I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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