THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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