Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
