i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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