I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
did i walk over a car last night?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
