I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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