and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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