just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize