im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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