just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
