i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
