so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
