the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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