He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
