Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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