hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
