The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize