Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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