Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think your dad took our porno
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
