I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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