I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't deserve a penis
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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