While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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