Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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