He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
