All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
